Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #24

I have spent most of the day watching the series “When We Left Earth” on the Discovery Channel. Sure, there are many more things that I could be doing with my time. Part of this whole post graduate school experience for me is learning how to reclaim my time as my own, and for me this means watching a lot of TV, reading books, and being generally lazy. All this time I am well aware that this should actually just be seen as an extended vacation, as once my job starts I’m sure that my time will be sapped by training and preparation. This almost makes it easier to justify the new levels of lazy that I’m discovering.

Meanwhile, the countdown to the move is officially on. We’re at 23 days and it’s starting to become more apparent that this is something major. My notice has been given at both of my jobs (ah yes, it’s finally time to say goodbye to the Second Job) and within the next 10 days I will be free from the shackles of employment. While I am incredibly ready to start working on new things in a new place, the realization that in 23 days I’ll have to say goodbye to my friends has hit hard. My emotional side has taken over and I’ve spent some time this weekend being pensive and….well….crying. I can’t help that I’ve become so attached to many different people over the past two years, and I can’t help that I’m awful with saying goodbye. This week marks two years since I made the move up here. Three months after that, I was ready to leave. I’ve been anxious to get out of here since then, but something’s changed over the past 6 months. I’ve felt more at home here than before, and my friendships have deepened and become more complex. It will be hard to leave and to know that unless I make a certain effort, I won’t be back.

Tomorrow I am supposed to make the first of my goodbyes. I’ve tried to think about what to say (my English major story writing tendencies kick into gear at these times) but the words aren’t flowing. This will be a unique situation and it’s too personal to explain in its entirety, but it will be the first test of many. I’ll see my closest friend from my program at the end of the week, and we’ll say goodbye – she’s heading off to her new job within the next two weeks.

Then there are my final days of work. My co-workers are more than that to me. The office ceased to be just an “office” a long time ago. The feeling this gives me is inexplicable. I’m already tearing up as I write this.

The following week I’ll travel home for the final time before my departure. While this might not be as emotional since I’ll know that I’ll be back and the people will be there waiting for me, it will still make me cry. I’m getting really good at the whole crying thing.

And with this entry I end my journey of graduate school and job searching. It’s been a long road, but one that’s passed by quickly. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and many are hoping that I will – the seed of doctorate work has been planted. Nothing is germinating quite yet, but it’s still hanging out there. I’ve already decided to keep my membership with ACPA and I plan on attending the conference next year. I’m sure that using the rest of my professional development funds will not be a challenge; I hope to be a fairly active new professional – at least as active as my schedule will allow.

Journeying into residence life after my sabbatical will be a challenge, and I am fully prepared to encounter many a road block. With any luck my new institution will be as fantastic as I’ve hoped and I will have much support behind me as I start this position. With any luck I will learn more than I could’ve imagined. With any luck my career in student affairs will rocket off to a magnificent start.

With any luck :)

The Great Fishbowl Quest #23

I read on my friend's Facebook page that she was stressed because she had two interviews in two days. Wow. Now I understand the reason it is so hard to describe placement exchanges to people.

I've learned that one of the easiest ways to explain my completed job search is through numbers.

100's: the number of positions I was qualified to apply for at institutions represented at the 2 placement exchanges I went to.

70+: the number of positions, institutions, and communities my wife researched.

19: the number of interviews I did at the 2 placement exchanges (not including second interviews).

30: the typical amount of minutes you get to spend forming an opinion in an interview.

10: the number of on-campus interview offers I received.

3: the number of on-campus interviews I took.

3: the number of jobs offered.

1: the number of jobs I took (thankfully).

Interestingly enough, the very first institution that contacted me for an interview, the first interview of the first day of the first placement exchange (SPE) ended up being our first choice of schools.

Before--and I believe I've posted about this--I held the opinion that you should schedule a "warm-up" interview if at all possible. Now I would recommend not going into your first interview with that mindset.

On a completely different note, few people have started leaving yet. I thought at this point I would be saturated with disappointed (yes...saturated...figured my body would be absorbing spilled tears and leaving a layer of salt over my skin). More than anything, I feel that this time in Pergatory (what I've taken to calling my current job) is preparing me mentally to leave. I'm not sad or concerned about leaving those I've come so close to. I believe the relationships that matter most to be will continue regardless of the distance. If they don't, then it will be because they lose importance.

Now it's time to get to packing and prepping the office for the next one coming in. Less than a month until I move.

28 days...

The Great Fishbowl Quest #19

It seems that today is the day that I can no longer avoid the fact that I'm going to be sad to leave all of the relationships that I've established here. Already, I don't look forward to losing the opportunity to work with my close friends. While here, I've learned that good colleagues can be hard to come by and excellent colleagues are rare finds. I get that I'll still get to keep in contact with these people, but the chance I'll get to work with them again is slim.

This past weekend a group of us got together for a cookout and the following night my wife and I had the opportunity to have dinner with one of my faculty members and her husband. Both of these experiences pointed to the fact that only recently have we finally felt that we're at home...and we'll be leaving in two months.

The idea of starting over is exhausting.

As I type this, a few of my friends are playing some Wii together, but I had to pass as my staff needed my immediate attention. The opportunities left to spend any quality time together are quickly diminishing and "arguments" are on the table of which professional associations should be joined if we ever expect to see each other again.

I'm sure I'd be frightened if I was told the number of times I would hang out with each of my friends before one of us moved away or if I was told the number of times we'd ever have a real conversation in person again. I'd like to think that some good piece of news would come out of that revelation (that I could work side-by-side with one of my close friends again and still consider that person a close friend), but I know that's a wish made for a Hallmark card.

So for now, I'm going to attempt to handle these feelings by crawling into bed and trying to sleep them off (I know...that's a healthy dose of avoidance). Tonight my wife and I will cook dinner and say our goodbyes to the staff (that will still be working for the remainder of the week), Friday I'll say goodbye to my peers and faculty, and Saturday I'll say goodbye to grad school.

Today's a day of missing.