The Great Fishbowl Quest #19

It seems that today is the day that I can no longer avoid the fact that I'm going to be sad to leave all of the relationships that I've established here. Already, I don't look forward to losing the opportunity to work with my close friends. While here, I've learned that good colleagues can be hard to come by and excellent colleagues are rare finds. I get that I'll still get to keep in contact with these people, but the chance I'll get to work with them again is slim.

This past weekend a group of us got together for a cookout and the following night my wife and I had the opportunity to have dinner with one of my faculty members and her husband. Both of these experiences pointed to the fact that only recently have we finally felt that we're at home...and we'll be leaving in two months.

The idea of starting over is exhausting.

As I type this, a few of my friends are playing some Wii together, but I had to pass as my staff needed my immediate attention. The opportunities left to spend any quality time together are quickly diminishing and "arguments" are on the table of which professional associations should be joined if we ever expect to see each other again.

I'm sure I'd be frightened if I was told the number of times I would hang out with each of my friends before one of us moved away or if I was told the number of times we'd ever have a real conversation in person again. I'd like to think that some good piece of news would come out of that revelation (that I could work side-by-side with one of my close friends again and still consider that person a close friend), but I know that's a wish made for a Hallmark card.

So for now, I'm going to attempt to handle these feelings by crawling into bed and trying to sleep them off (I know...that's a healthy dose of avoidance). Tonight my wife and I will cook dinner and say our goodbyes to the staff (that will still be working for the remainder of the week), Friday I'll say goodbye to my peers and faculty, and Saturday I'll say goodbye to grad school.

Today's a day of missing.