You would think that by now I would be used to the unexpected when it comes to my job search, but I am constantly surprised by happens.
This week I was offered an on-campus interview which I immediately accepted. This comes from an institution that really interests me and for a position that seems like it could be the best thing ever.
Two days later I received my first job offer.
I hate to say that I wasn't surprised, but I wasn't. I knew I nailed that interview, but I guess I didn't realize what kind of an impression I had made until the bargaining started after I said I'd need some time because I had another interview lined up. I am completely unprepared for feeling of being recruited for a position. Luckily, my supervisors at my assistantship are wonderful, caring people. Each one of them dealt with me in the midst of my freak out, and they all helped to talk me off the ledge.
That same day I found out that an institution I had JUST applied to days beforehand was already checking my references. I went from having virtually nothing on the horizon to multiple things going on all at the same time.
I'm losing my mind.
In all truth I am in a much better place now than I was a day ago. I felt like I was walking around in a daze, and I was. Maybe I still am. I am constantly weighing my options and trying to decide what decision I should make. I am giving this on-campus interview a fair shot, but I'm wondering what decision I will make once it's all over. If I like what I see and feel at my interview I will have to decide whether or not I have the metaphorical balls to turn down my other offer. If I'm not 100% after the interview.....I will probably take the offer. The job offer is a decent one, and it's a position that I know I would be great in. My friends beyond the realm of higher ed have all said that they would pick this job for me out of any other ones that I have floating around as options. I'm taking this into consideration, regardless of whether or not I should, because these friends know me better than most.
I've been told to take some time to do some soul-searching following my interview. Despite how busy I will be, I plan on following this advice and do some major thinking.
On the other side of the coin, my life as a graduate student is officially done. Classes are completed, coursework is turned in, my last hours at my assistantship are clocked in. I just wait for graduation and for the celebrations to begin.....with or without an accepted position.
Showing posts with label mental mess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental mess. Show all posts
Friday, May 2, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #18
I have no idea where the past week has gone. I can't even claim that I've been busy everyday as my blogging pal has been - to be honest, I've been hit with a wave of laziness.
Last Friday I got one "Thanks, but no thanks" email from an ACPA employer that I liked. Then within hours after that I got another email from a different employer telling me the same thing about two positions I didn't even know I was being considered for. Unfortunately, this happened to be my number one choice and the ambiguity of the email left me wondering if I was being canned for the position that I really liked, in addition to these other ones that I was totally not interested in. I fired off as much of a professional "wtf?" reply email that I could. Then I had a complete breakdown and completely gave up. I couldn't even tell you what I did for the rest of the day besides stare at my inbox and just dare someone else to email me and turn me down.
My weekend turned hectic and interesting, and I wasn't surprised that there was a full moon. I swear, the most random stuff happens to me. So after working and dealing with many other things, I started my week. I did the class thing, I did the homework thing, I did the working thing. Today is a complete and total day off for me, and I'm planning on enjoying it. I've managed to knock out the last bit of school work that I needed to do. All is left is finishing up a few things for my internship and actually making it through this last week of class.
A bright spot amongst all of this was the announcement of an opportunity for summer employment. My assistantship (which, by the way, is the best place to work with the nicest people ever) has found the money to offer me a temporary part-time position from graduation until mid-August. This has now bought me three more months of job searching time if I need it. I can keep my second job and try to save money while still being able to pay my bills and hunt for a job. This took a HUGE load of anxiety away from me. While I'd love to find a job as soon as possible, knowing that I have a little extra time is great.
I'm also comforted to know that my classmates don't seem to be having much more luck with their searches. Some have gone to more on-campus interviews (I'm holding steady at one so far) but people are getting rejected and not really liking many of the places that they're going to. At least I know I'm not the black sheep of the program that just can't find something.
I did get a reply from my number one school who clarified that their initial email was only in regard to those two positions. I can only assume that they haven't yet made their decisions for the position that I'm interested in. I made some phone calls today and left messages for those people I spoke with at ACPA that I was interested in. Since last week I've applied for 4 or 5 more positions and I've got a few more to crank out over the weekend. I have two weeks until graduation. I can't believe the past two years have all come down to these final two weeks.
Last Friday I got one "Thanks, but no thanks" email from an ACPA employer that I liked. Then within hours after that I got another email from a different employer telling me the same thing about two positions I didn't even know I was being considered for. Unfortunately, this happened to be my number one choice and the ambiguity of the email left me wondering if I was being canned for the position that I really liked, in addition to these other ones that I was totally not interested in. I fired off as much of a professional "wtf?" reply email that I could. Then I had a complete breakdown and completely gave up. I couldn't even tell you what I did for the rest of the day besides stare at my inbox and just dare someone else to email me and turn me down.
My weekend turned hectic and interesting, and I wasn't surprised that there was a full moon. I swear, the most random stuff happens to me. So after working and dealing with many other things, I started my week. I did the class thing, I did the homework thing, I did the working thing. Today is a complete and total day off for me, and I'm planning on enjoying it. I've managed to knock out the last bit of school work that I needed to do. All is left is finishing up a few things for my internship and actually making it through this last week of class.
A bright spot amongst all of this was the announcement of an opportunity for summer employment. My assistantship (which, by the way, is the best place to work with the nicest people ever) has found the money to offer me a temporary part-time position from graduation until mid-August. This has now bought me three more months of job searching time if I need it. I can keep my second job and try to save money while still being able to pay my bills and hunt for a job. This took a HUGE load of anxiety away from me. While I'd love to find a job as soon as possible, knowing that I have a little extra time is great.
I'm also comforted to know that my classmates don't seem to be having much more luck with their searches. Some have gone to more on-campus interviews (I'm holding steady at one so far) but people are getting rejected and not really liking many of the places that they're going to. At least I know I'm not the black sheep of the program that just can't find something.
I did get a reply from my number one school who clarified that their initial email was only in regard to those two positions. I can only assume that they haven't yet made their decisions for the position that I'm interested in. I made some phone calls today and left messages for those people I spoke with at ACPA that I was interested in. Since last week I've applied for 4 or 5 more positions and I've got a few more to crank out over the weekend. I have two weeks until graduation. I can't believe the past two years have all come down to these final two weeks.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #17
Hi, my name is Emotional Mess and Anxiety.
Yesterday I had a spontaneous crying fit in the office. Maybe it wasn't so spontaneous, since one of my supervisors asked how I was and that sort of brought it on.
I am very much aware that my time left at my assistantship and in this program is running out. I would very much like to find a job so that I can figure out my gameplan for the next few months. This whole waiting around thing isn't really working for me anymore, and if I was okay with it, it still wouldn't make this whole decision-making process any easier.
My interview from last week went well. Aside from completely rambling through a presentation, it was good. Great? Awesome? I can't even tell. Would I be surprised if they called and offered it to me.....no. I don't want to say that I expect it, but I can definitely see it happening. What would I say if that happened.....I have no idea. I'm making it a practice to not answer any numbers I don't know that have that area code and exchange. I'd rather get a voicemail and then have time to process things. At this point (and to the disappointment of many, I'm sure) I would probably take the job. Not saying that I wouldn't do some additional follow-up with the other places that I liked at ACPA, but unless someone said "Oh, I was just about to call you!" I'm not sure I could turn it down.
In the meantime, I'll continue sitting and waiting. Patience may be a virtue but it's certainly not one that I possess. If nothing else, I suppose this job search has given me a lesson in that.
Yesterday I had a spontaneous crying fit in the office. Maybe it wasn't so spontaneous, since one of my supervisors asked how I was and that sort of brought it on.
I am very much aware that my time left at my assistantship and in this program is running out. I would very much like to find a job so that I can figure out my gameplan for the next few months. This whole waiting around thing isn't really working for me anymore, and if I was okay with it, it still wouldn't make this whole decision-making process any easier.
My interview from last week went well. Aside from completely rambling through a presentation, it was good. Great? Awesome? I can't even tell. Would I be surprised if they called and offered it to me.....no. I don't want to say that I expect it, but I can definitely see it happening. What would I say if that happened.....I have no idea. I'm making it a practice to not answer any numbers I don't know that have that area code and exchange. I'd rather get a voicemail and then have time to process things. At this point (and to the disappointment of many, I'm sure) I would probably take the job. Not saying that I wouldn't do some additional follow-up with the other places that I liked at ACPA, but unless someone said "Oh, I was just about to call you!" I'm not sure I could turn it down.
In the meantime, I'll continue sitting and waiting. Patience may be a virtue but it's certainly not one that I possess. If nothing else, I suppose this job search has given me a lesson in that.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #6
I had a mental meltdown yesterday.
It's all starting to weigh on me and I completely went postal yesterday afternoon. My gripes about my internship became too much to handle and I decided to succomb to the breakdown that was building. So I freaked out on my best friend and my mom, sent some emails, and I'm starting to finally float back to Earth. At least before it was just quiet panic attacks about time management and organization. This is my first complete, no holds barred, freak out of the semester. I hope to not have very many more.
Eeriely enough, after making my last post about not having any new job search info to report...I heard some news! I got a call for another phone interview for a different position. The amusing part is that it's at the SAME institution that I interviewed with before. At least I know they must like me there :) I applied for about 4 more positions over the weekend. What's left to do now is starting my focus on the ACPA Placement. I'm still a little in the dark as to how to go about doing all of this. I've posted my resume and updated my info on my candidate profile....I suppose I should now start directly sending stuff to the contacts of the positions that I like. I can't believe that it's just about one month away. I can't believe that spring break is right around the corner and that the semester is nearly half over. Time is flying by - just as everyone promised.
It seems my blogging pal (and hopefully all of you lovely readers) who attended the placement this past week had wonderful interviews and made some good connections. My excitement for my own placement is building, but much of it is for the warm weather that will be there. As I sit here and stare out a snowy world I wonder if it'll ever get warm again. I was fortunate to attend the Joint Conference last year - warm and sunny Florida was a fantastic change from the winter weather....but I was quickly brought back to reality when I arrived back home to cold and snowy weather. Curses to these differences in climate!
Cross your fingers that I'll have a good interview this week. Not that the other one was necessarily bad, just not what I expected. I'm hoping for good things from this one. It could definitely spice up things up - in a very good way :)
It's all starting to weigh on me and I completely went postal yesterday afternoon. My gripes about my internship became too much to handle and I decided to succomb to the breakdown that was building. So I freaked out on my best friend and my mom, sent some emails, and I'm starting to finally float back to Earth. At least before it was just quiet panic attacks about time management and organization. This is my first complete, no holds barred, freak out of the semester. I hope to not have very many more.
Eeriely enough, after making my last post about not having any new job search info to report...I heard some news! I got a call for another phone interview for a different position. The amusing part is that it's at the SAME institution that I interviewed with before. At least I know they must like me there :) I applied for about 4 more positions over the weekend. What's left to do now is starting my focus on the ACPA Placement. I'm still a little in the dark as to how to go about doing all of this. I've posted my resume and updated my info on my candidate profile....I suppose I should now start directly sending stuff to the contacts of the positions that I like. I can't believe that it's just about one month away. I can't believe that spring break is right around the corner and that the semester is nearly half over. Time is flying by - just as everyone promised.
It seems my blogging pal (and hopefully all of you lovely readers) who attended the placement this past week had wonderful interviews and made some good connections. My excitement for my own placement is building, but much of it is for the warm weather that will be there. As I sit here and stare out a snowy world I wonder if it'll ever get warm again. I was fortunate to attend the Joint Conference last year - warm and sunny Florida was a fantastic change from the winter weather....but I was quickly brought back to reality when I arrived back home to cold and snowy weather. Curses to these differences in climate!
Cross your fingers that I'll have a good interview this week. Not that the other one was necessarily bad, just not what I expected. I'm hoping for good things from this one. It could definitely spice up things up - in a very good way :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #3
I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to find a great quote about happiness or joy, or something like that. I can't find anything I like and that seems to fit, so I'll forget about being creative and just announce the news:
I got my first phone interview!!!
In a day of missed calls and voicemails (and also endless meetings), the end of my workday gave me a lovely message about wanting to set up a phone interview. The coolness factor: it's at a really awesome institution. The "Haha...are you serious?!?!" factor: it's for a type of position that I wasn't even looking really hard at. The "OMG freakout!" factor: the phone interview is this week. Whoa. My lovely supervisors at the office are helping me by completely encouraging me and also driving me towards the loony bin. Those of them that read this (because, as I mentioned before, secret-keeping is not my forte) will be delighted to see that I've finally made mention of this. My head supervisor (or, as I refer to her, The Queen of Me) had incredible fun giving me sample interview questions and threatening to put me through a mock interview. As excited as I am to graduate and get a job, my heart is breaking at the thought of leaving this office. I have had the most wonderful experience in this assistantship, an experience that I never could have had anywhere else. Each step I make towards graduation is a step closer to the day I actually have to leave. This is a feat I am not yet ready to tackle. (And let's all pause to find a tissue, because even writing it makes me misty-eyed).
Everything else sort of came to a grinding halt this weekend. I got done about a tenth of what I wanted to and made no additional progress with my cover letters. I don't even have a good excuse, honestly. In reality I'm lazy, enjoy procrastination, and sometimes suffer from a lack of motivation. But my huge to-do list that I now have is enough to put me back on track. And the goal of getting things taken care of in time to do a few fun things I have scheduled on my calendar is also good motivation.
As far as slogging through my classes......it's a mixed bag of emotions towards the semester. The one class I was hoping to be enlightening and interesting is currently extremely boring and off-topic. The other class that I've been looking forward to is......interesting. Let's say that not everyone has the same opinion on matters discussed, and it's very divided among first-years and second-years/doc students. I am loving the dynamic of it.
---------------------------------------------------------
I have to interrupt my own thought process and share that my wonderful "Queen of Me" supervisor just sent me a very detailed email with thoughts and ideas and things to question going into this phone interview. See, THIS is what I'm talking about. THIS is the incredible support that's there for me (aside from all the teasing and torture that will lead me to the loony bin) that makes me so lucky.
But I digress.
--------------------------------------------------------
I feel that this post reflects the disjointed and jumbled mess that is my brain right now. Maybe it's just that time of year, as my writing pal seems to be going through the same thing right now. I'm half-tempted to go back and try to make this post seem a little more well organized, but honestly, I don't even think I can focus properly enough to make it worth while. We'll leave it at this and I'll try and not be mentally all over the road for next time.
I got my first phone interview!!!
In a day of missed calls and voicemails (and also endless meetings), the end of my workday gave me a lovely message about wanting to set up a phone interview. The coolness factor: it's at a really awesome institution. The "Haha...are you serious?!?!" factor: it's for a type of position that I wasn't even looking really hard at. The "OMG freakout!" factor: the phone interview is this week. Whoa. My lovely supervisors at the office are helping me by completely encouraging me and also driving me towards the loony bin. Those of them that read this (because, as I mentioned before, secret-keeping is not my forte) will be delighted to see that I've finally made mention of this. My head supervisor (or, as I refer to her, The Queen of Me) had incredible fun giving me sample interview questions and threatening to put me through a mock interview. As excited as I am to graduate and get a job, my heart is breaking at the thought of leaving this office. I have had the most wonderful experience in this assistantship, an experience that I never could have had anywhere else. Each step I make towards graduation is a step closer to the day I actually have to leave. This is a feat I am not yet ready to tackle. (And let's all pause to find a tissue, because even writing it makes me misty-eyed).
Everything else sort of came to a grinding halt this weekend. I got done about a tenth of what I wanted to and made no additional progress with my cover letters. I don't even have a good excuse, honestly. In reality I'm lazy, enjoy procrastination, and sometimes suffer from a lack of motivation. But my huge to-do list that I now have is enough to put me back on track. And the goal of getting things taken care of in time to do a few fun things I have scheduled on my calendar is also good motivation.
As far as slogging through my classes......it's a mixed bag of emotions towards the semester. The one class I was hoping to be enlightening and interesting is currently extremely boring and off-topic. The other class that I've been looking forward to is......interesting. Let's say that not everyone has the same opinion on matters discussed, and it's very divided among first-years and second-years/doc students. I am loving the dynamic of it.
---------------------------------------------------------
I have to interrupt my own thought process and share that my wonderful "Queen of Me" supervisor just sent me a very detailed email with thoughts and ideas and things to question going into this phone interview. See, THIS is what I'm talking about. THIS is the incredible support that's there for me (aside from all the teasing and torture that will lead me to the loony bin) that makes me so lucky.
But I digress.
--------------------------------------------------------
I feel that this post reflects the disjointed and jumbled mess that is my brain right now. Maybe it's just that time of year, as my writing pal seems to be going through the same thing right now. I'm half-tempted to go back and try to make this post seem a little more well organized, but honestly, I don't even think I can focus properly enough to make it worth while. We'll leave it at this and I'll try and not be mentally all over the road for next time.
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