Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be.... #22

It seems that many of my peers from my class have received job offers and have decided where to go for work. The congratulatory emails to the listserv have been trickling in, although I admittedly have no idea how many people are still searching. I lost count awhile ago as to who was actually finishing the spring and who still had a few more classes to pick up. My class had many students get full-time positions along the way, causing them to either halt the program for a semester or two or just greatly slow down their progress. Although no one has said that we've had an abnormally large number of people get positions mid-program, I don't remember this happening last year quite like this.

I'm back at it again at my assistantship, which I guess really isn't my assistantship anymore. I referred to myself as a "GA" this past week and was corrected. It doesn't really feel any different, but serving as a 'Temporary Part-Time Advisor' sounds pretty spiffy. I don't think that I've ever really come out and mentioned that I haven't been working in residence life during grad school. It feels sneaky to write it here, since it seems that all the other bloggers (from this year and previous years) have all been RHDs or ARHDs. But the truth is out: I am, perhaps, a rare breed since I have no graduate live-in res life experience, yet was offered and accepted a position in residence life. To all those who may be looking to do the same, it's obviously possible. My undergraduate res life experience was helpful, as was an internship I did this past year with a hall director. But it was an uphill battle all the way.

I've been skimming through some of my old posts and reliving the experiences, in addition to just remembering back to what it was like to be at ACPA and interview through placement. The more I think about it, the more I realize how anxious I was to fall in love with a school and how I pretty much jumped on Number One Institution because of it. While they offered some of what I was looking for, I'm seeing more now that I gravitated towards them because of how familiar they seemed. They are, in essence, the mirror image of my undergraduate institution - only on a slightly larger scale. And while I will campaign for this type of school (especially in the type of place that I attended) until the day I die, I can say that that probably would not have been the best move for me right now. I think another reason I wanted to like them so much is that they were the first place to contact ME for an interview at ACPA instead of having me chase them down.

The more I think about The New Job and that school, the more I realize how much I loved it without even realizing it. Like I mentioned before, I can remember finding the position description and absolutely falling in love. I read it to my best friend (who immediately stamped it as 'too far away' and dismissed it) and my mom and being so incredibly excited about it. When I secured that interview for the conference (the first I scheduled, and my very first one of placement) I was so pumped that they were giving me a chance. My interview with them lasted nearly an hour. I had stars in my eyes when I realized what I would be doing and who I could be working with. I met many people, all of whom seemed so happy to be meeting me and anxious for me to like THEM just as much as they liked ME. I got positive feedback that felt genuine. I did follow up with them, did a lot of hoping and wishing, and then was able to get the campus interview.

It's funny, but I really wanted to hate that place. If nothing else, just so that decision making would be easier for me. With an offer on the table and (at the time) no concept of what kind of timeline they were working with, I figured that accepting the offer out there already would be the easiest/best thing to do. I didn't realize how crazy I was being, and how much in denial I was. Being terrified to turn down an offer without having another option was the driving force behind my thoughts. When I realized how much I really liked this position and this institution, I panicked. I am grateful for fast-moving individuals that were able to make it happen so quickly, and who, I'm convinced, saved me from making a really big mistake.

So now I look forward, perhaps on a ridiculously high scale, to mid-July when I made my move and start this job. I allowed myself to pack one box (just books) and then realized that it didn't make a dent into anything from my shelf. My tendency to impulsively buy books is always a pain to deal with when it comes time to move. And my large collection from my undergrad English major years just adds to it. I'm definitely faced with a huge undertaking.